so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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