why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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