Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
