Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The uberlube is also flammable
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
