Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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