If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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