did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my being single is dangerous.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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