so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now