I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
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Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
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Then again, he has huge mansions.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?