Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
