He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
