is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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