Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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