Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
