Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
