Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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