So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
