He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
