The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
