kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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