going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
