I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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