3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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