I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
