I wanna passion pit in your ass
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
