So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
