Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
