i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We are two peas in an std pod
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
