she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
