Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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