I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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