Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
