Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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