She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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