My first STD was from a foam party
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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