my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
