i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Two words: blizzard sex
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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