so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
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Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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