What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
