Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
