I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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