I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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