everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
