So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
