Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
