D3 body, D1 cock
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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