do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
