the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
time to smoke my breakfast
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
