You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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