i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
