New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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