I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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