I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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