Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
