She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
