thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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