whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize