I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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