so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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