Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Oh god it's open bar.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
