I just made out with a guy for $7.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We had to coat check the pizza.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
