I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
