You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
