There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
