So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
