I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i think my cat just said my name.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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