And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
