That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
