My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
